I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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