i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
