Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
