Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
