I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
