the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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