But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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