We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
