I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
