Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize