dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Someone came in the potted fern
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize