what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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