Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
