you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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