In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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