I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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