i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
