I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
