You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
