doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
and she was petting her beer can
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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