I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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