Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
