Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
