Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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