i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Randomize
