Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
