Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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