dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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