I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
