i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
