you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
