I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
