I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
