At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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