omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
