i just wanna soil my oats bro
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
