Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
