he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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