we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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