Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
