there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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