maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
