if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize