HIV tests are more positive than that guy
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
