I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
