made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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