I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
