i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
