haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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