Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
