So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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