if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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