Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
