the condom got lost in my hair
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize