She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
