She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
