so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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