He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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