Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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