If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
