I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize