Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
